I do believe that there is a higher power / god and there is some other place we go besides six feet under. I do believe in the afterlife and have experienced it in one way or another. So this is a long short story of adventures of Me and Jerry.
I seem to have a guardian angel. One that has well in so many words that has well seemed to screw with me when I'm at my lowest and even seems to rain on my parade when life seems to be at its fullest. We meaning Jerry and I, seem to have an understanding. I don't mess with him and he f*cks with me every time he gets. Good relationship. Bugger.
Jerry started bearing his head a few years before my divorce. I was in motor accident one year when I rear ended a kid that was driving through town, It was related to a cell phone on my part. First lesson learned. Pay attention to the road came the word from Jerry.
Next was about a year later when I was in a head on collision with a school bus. (Small short bus) There were kids on the bus and I do not recall how many there were but there were enough. I was turning into a business that I was doing telephone work at. I drifted into the oncoming lane and well laws of motion and all the others came into effect. What did Jerry have to do with it.
1. On the way down to where I was going I had the sudden urge to test my speed dial to 911. It was newly installed at the community that I was living. Checked out.
2. I also used to not wear a seat belt. Even out on the highway. But again I had this urge I needed to put it on.
Soon after about 10 minutes later I was in the accident. I called into 911 and reported the accident and thank god/Jerry that I was wearing my seat belt. But the strange keeps getting stranger because when the smoke was still in the cab of the pickup there was a song playing in the tape deck " Loose Your Love" by The Outfield. But that's not the strange part. The tape that was in the deck was AC/DC. Jerry made his presence that day and later that day. I was being taken by ambulance to Big Horn County Memorial Hospital when about half way there the driver got a call and was turned around half way to Hardin and was notified that they were not taking patients and that I would have to go to the new IHS hospital in Crow. I had to spend the night at the hospital. I came out of the head on with just a dislocated big toe. The pickup on the other had was a total loss. I do remember the steering wheel was wrapped around the column from where I was holding onto it. Laws of motion are a bitch sometimes.
More of Jerry you say, sure here are more examples: Some of the big ones I remember. (There seems to be an auto theme going.)
1. After getting out of the mental hospital My mother, cousin, and I traveled to Kansas for about a week. The night we get there I went back out to the car to get something out of the car and that's all I remember. Next thing I knew I was being awoke by sounds of sirens and being shook. All I could really piece together was that the car door came back after opening and and caught me above the left eye and knocked me out. I received a nice cut and a shiner around the eye and a sore leg. Sleep deprivation, anxiety, ect.. Dunno. I was one sore guy after that.2. I was served divorce papers on February 14th (yes that's right Valentine's Day. Laugh get it all out)
3. Car #2 (remember Car #1 head on collision) Transmission went out going up a hill (all wheel drive) Going to a Beginning Experience Meeting.
4. Car #3 Overheated and blew engine smoke and all that stuff. Going to another Beginning Experience meeting.
5. Car #4 Car fire on side of highway at 2 am after a night of drinking and singing.
6. Car #5 (Borrowed car) battery dies in drive through and have to push out of way.
7. Bus #1 Stalled onside of highway vapor locked
8. Same bus #2 Stalled coming out of Billings with patient.
9. Same bus #3 Stalled half way between Billings and Hardin with full load of patients and staff.
You think this would happen to someone else driving the bus? Nope just me and my friend Jerry.
10. Other small unmentionables that lead to cuts and scrapes.
11. Broke my hip flying a kite. (13 foot kite picked me up during a wind gust and well gravity is a bitch. My illiac crest cracked down the edge about 2 inches. Nothing could be done. It was the first time in my life that I had hips and it was only on one side.
12. Involved in a car accident (I was not driving) hit air bag which deflected me into the windshield and got very small gash on head. Was off work for 2-3 weeks because of my knee.
But the piece that I am about to mention happened at work about 3 months ago.
13. I was struck in the head by a patient with a remote telemetry box. Then 45 minutes later I was stabbed in my fat belly by the SAME PATENT mind you with a crucifix. Yes that's right you read it a crucifix.
As you see by my many examples that Jerry and I have a good relationship. Jerry was born to me to get me through life and to make me enjoy life and to live it to the fullest. Because one of these days Jerry might just decide he is tired of me and I will finally be left to live a boring uneventful life.
NOT !!!!!!
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